A poignant saying isn’t it?
But why is it “sweet” sorrow?
There is something epic about the way love, even in a heartbreak situation, makes us feel so alive.
It gives us a deep sense of meaning and purpose as much as it feels painful and difficult to bear. Our passion feels wide awake. Others around us can seem dull and emotionless. We feel epic and full of life, even if at this moment it is painful.
Why is loss and separation such a dynamic emotional process for us?
The heartbreak of separating from a loved one is a painful part of life but I have found that this is the fuel for the true alchemy of healing.
LOVE IS NEVER WASTED
I recommend you never try to turn your strong feelings of love “off” by suppressing or denying them, even if outwardly the relationship has ended. Our opportunity, which is not easy, is to release our attachment to the other and to any expected or hoped for outcome and then allow the love to take you on the healing journey you need to go on.
What is the journey?
To find the answer to why you are throbbing so strongly for this particular person. The answer lies in the vibrational energy exchange.
When we come together with another, especially if it is an intimate long term physical relationship, our fields blend and bond and fuse to varying degrees depending on the depth of the connection. When there is a separation we actually feel the “hole” of the other not being physically present in our field. It can truly feel physically painful if the bond is very deep. It is energetic entanglement and can be positive or negative, but it still hurts. It is why codependent couples that have been together for a very long time often die when the other spouse or partner dies. They feel as if they cannot exist without the field of the other person present. It’s like an amputation.
Sometimes, we fuse or attach too deeply with someone when the bond or intimacy is actually not as deep as we would like to believe it is, or is one sided. When we feel these really deep and magnetic attractions that tend to turn out badly, you can nearly always bet you have karmic entanglement.
One key cause of the painful aspects of connection and separation is karmic entanglement. Karma is unfinished and unresolved business and unfinished lessons from past lives. When you feel intense and powerful magnetic pulls that you cannot resist, karma is likely knocking on your door. This is often confusing because people often mistake this irresistible magnetic pull as being “fated true love”. Often these karmic relationships run a set course of time and then break apart. It can span from a few years or decades to mere days or months.
THE MIRROR OF RELATIONSHIP
So once we have been pulled into an entanglement, what happens then?
Now the magic of the healing mirror appears. All our relationships are formed very purposely by the law of karma and for our highest healing and learning potential. There are no chance encounters out there. But remember there can be positive and negative karma, and also our soul plans can vary according to our life lessons. If you are one that has a history of troubled relationships ending badly, you can bet your core area of learning is around relations with self and others.
WHAT DOES THE MIRROR TELL US?
The mirror can be complex, but often the magnetic pull happens because we feel overly drawn into an attachment based on a unconscious lack or perception of lack within us, or because of a projection onto the other person.
For example, you feel a lack of self worth and the person treats you as if you are unworthy. That’s a direct vibrational match, and you likely played this game with one and then the other pretending to experience and be unworthy in past lives. So you direct the energy back and forth until one or both of you resolve the illusion that you can possibly ever be unworthy.
We are getting information from the relationship that we have issues with unworthiness and this person is our mirror.
Or it can look like a quality we admire in another, but cannot recognize in ourselves such as courage or creativity. We project this quality that is really ours onto them and admire it because we cannot see it or admit we have it in ourselves. We may secretly or unconsciously wish to develop it and have not done this yet.
It helps us understand why are we attracted to some people and not others. Nothing is by chance in the world of love and attraction. The book of love is vibrational and never lies.
Most often what is vibrationally present as a negative trait or an undeveloped and desired trait in ourselves, the other person has. So we feel a magnetic pull towards them. They are our medicine. And often this cocktail of attraction is complex and difficult to unravel.
HOW DO WE HEAL?
The question in this case is what is in their field that draws you? What is it that you believe you need from them? What is the lesson or empty space within you? Our healing journey will be to learn this lesson and fill this space not with your longing as suffering, but by directing the longing internally to find what fulfills the hole you are perceiving within you. Did you need to be with them to experience your unworthiness? How many years do you need to experience your unworthiness? Hopefully not too long.
Now that you know the mysterious mirror principle of your relationships, you have the opportunity to look within to heal the wound. When you do this you will likely find that miraculously you are no longer attracted to this person. You may even be repulsed by them as you see with clear eyes how they are treating you so disrespectfully, if this is the mirror they were holding.
IT STILL HURTS…
So what do we do with our apparent wasted “love?’ How do we alchemize it and change it into inner gold?
Feel the feeling with gusto and let it reveal within you what needs to be revealed. Let it tell the truth about why we feel we need and want this person so much.
THE ALCHEMY OF THE BROKEN HEART
Drenching the heart into the fires of Divine Love is the only way to heal the broken heart. So love, and love deeply, but without interfering with the field or life of the other if they have closed the door. Turn this love inward, towards yourself, towards the divine and let the internal magic of alchemy work to restore your sense of wholeness.
If the person is engaged with you, then engage as long as it feels fulfilling to you, there is medicine in the relationship. But if they are not, if they leave the field and say “no thanks”, you must honor the space and let go.
In truth I have found these spaces are actually where the real healing magic can happen if you have the courage to look within.
Blessings on the Journey
Elaine Marie Rose
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